Orgasm denial involves anything you do to keep your partner sexually aroused without allowing sexual release. In its mildest form, orgasm denial might involve teasing your partner without letting him or her come for a while; in its more devious incarnations, "for a while" might mean "for a week" or even "for a few months." When a person is kept sexually aroused for such an extended period of time without being given release, the results can become quite interesting.

I've found that extended periods of denial can create a sort of "background level" of sexual arousal that gives an interesting color to the world. It sharpens sexual appetite, and becomes a part of the way you experience all the things around you. It also, needless to say, keeps you very horny.

For greatest effect, extended periods of orgasm denial are often best accompanied with regular sexual activity, especially activity that brings your partner very close to orgasm repeatedly, without actually allowing climax.

In its simplest form, orgasm denial can be nothing more than teasing your partner in tantalizing ways, and extending the pleasure as long as possible. The ideas in the Bondage and Sensation Play sections work well for the simplest kinds of denial.

One simple way to start exploring is to take your partner by the hand and lead him or her into the bedroom. Take off your lover's clothes and explain that no matter what happens, orgasm is not allowed until you say so.

When you start out exploring orgasm denial for a single session, there are a couple of different approaches you can take. You want to make sure that you create an environment where your partner understands that no matter what happens, he or she is not allowed to come; you can do this with physical control or with psychological control.

If you like physical control, lead your partner into the bedroom. Explain that you want to see how long you can tease and torment without allowing orgasm. Take your partner's clothes off, lay your partner down in a sexually available position, and tie or cuff your partner down. If your partner is a woman, it's sometimes helpful to place a pillow beneath her hips when you tie her down, to give yourself more convenient access.

If psychological control is more your thing, sit or lie your partner down and explain very firmly that no matter what happens, your partner is absolutely, positively not allowed to come without permission. Tell your partner that he or she must tell you if orgasm is close, and absolutely must not come until and unless you say so.

Advanced play: Enforced chastity

If you'd like to kick denial up to the next level, chastity play is a lot of fun. The time-honored, traditional chastity belt has been given new life by modern technology, and men are not left out, either! If you like the idea of keeping your partner wanting without release, chastity devices for both men and women can help.

Whether you're playing for a short time or for extended periods of time, chastity devices are a great way to keep your partner focused on sex. A fun game to play is to make your partner earn his or her way out of chastity, by servicing your every need until you're satisfied.

You can require that your partner give you a certain number of orgasms in order to earn freedom, or to do certain acts in order to win release; there's nothing quite like enforced chastity to make your partner attentive to you!

And if you like the notion of teasing oyur partner into a frenzy before you go to work and then leaving, secure in the knowledge that he or she will stay frantic and desperate for you until you get home, a chastity belt is exactly the toy for you. Some are designed to be worn for hours or even days at a time, so you can know you'll come home and find your partner still unsatisfied.

If you're especially fiendish, work out a point system. Your partner will be confined until he or she earns a certain number of points, perhaps by giving you a relaxing warm oil massage (1 point for every 15 minutes), orgasms (3 points each), or even doing the dishes (however many points you think that might be worth). Decide on a number of points that he or she must earn, and then have fun!

Half the fun in denial scenes is playing with sensation once you have driven your partner right to the brink of orgasm. Prying your partner's attention away from being right on the edge is quite a delicious torment; you can do this over and over, bringing your partner to the edge and then inflicting torments on him or her, then rinse and repeat.

If you'd like to have some things on hand which can help, any of the things in the Sensation Play section will fill the bill. Here are a few suggestions you might find handy:

		Wartenberg Wheel Stainless steel neurological pinwheel $11.50
One of the most basic sensation toys, the classic Wartenberg wheel is a must-have for anyone who likes playing with sensation. You can find a specially fitted carrying sheath for it here, which will prevent it from snagging anything you store it with.

		Fearsome Fingertips Black mesh with stainless steel points
It's jewelry and it's a sensation toy that creates all kinds of interesting reactions when drawn over your lover's skin. When you've teased your partner right to the edge of orgasm, drawing these slowly over his or her body should refocus attention away from the desire to orgasm quite quickly!

		Beaded Floggers Beaded chain floggers, lashes approx. 10" long, available in two colors
These metal floggers are designed for electrical play, but make wonderful temperature play toys. The light beaded metal chains hold heat and cold and are quite mild and sensual when stroked lightly and slowly over your partner's skin. Keep them in the freezer, then bring them out when you have your partner frantic and begging for release.

The next logical step in denial play is enforced chastity. Modern technology has risen to the challenge of creating all kinds of fiendish twists on the chastity belt, for both men and women.

If you like the idea of being able to keep your lover teased and denied, then you might want to explore playing with some of these chastity devices.

		Locking Cock Cage Locking leather strap with chrome enclosure
Chastity devices are not just for women anymore. This inexpensive, secure male chastity device is designed to prevent both erections and orgasm, for times when you want your lover to go without. Make him concentrate on pleasing you to earn his way out of the cage!

		CB 6000 Chrome designer male chastity device
If you're serious about long-term chastity and want an upscale, secure way to keep your guy in line for days at a time, this is the perfect implement for you. The locking male chastity device is designed to be worn for extended periods of time. Keep control even when you're not around!

		Strap-In Chastity Harness Locking leather chastity harness, available in several sizes
This chastity harness is an inexpensive way to explore female chastity. The leather strap can also be used to strap in a dildo, to keep her constantly stimulated but unable to do anything about it. Adjustable for a perfect fit!